Weak is a precious place to be, friend. Delight in it, because here is what is true: When you are weak, then you are strong.

Walk with your child through it all. Talking and sharing, listening and questioning. Join them on the journey of understanding their story, learning their history, processing through the thoughts & emotions of it all. You can’t isolate your kids from the pain & confusion, but you can enter it with them.

But just because we chose it doesn’t mean we have to carry it on our own. In fact, it’s the we-chose-it-ness of it all that should pull our people into it right along with us.

I want to protect them from going through life thinking the world is about them. From the lie that following Jesus is always easy or that God is some magic genie who exists to serve our wishes. From the illusion that everyone lives the same charmed lives that they do. I want to protect them from a selfish, wasted life.

We get to speak to their little hearts, “You are loved, you are precious, your needs will be met.”

Until I was rescued out of my arrogance & ignorance. I came to understand that I can’t be for vulnerable children, while turning my back on their vulnerable parents. That I can’t celebrate the gift of my family, and hope that another’s be torn apart. That I can’t claim to love a child yet hold onto hate for their parents. That I can’t be vaguely pro-reunification but personally anti-parent. That I can’t forget that “but for the grace of God...”

That is why we created the Foster the Family Book Club Guide—to give you a tool around which you can gather with one friend or five or twenty, to come together in the name of friendship and fellowship and foster care.

The trying has become the teaching. Worry makes way for worship. And I know and love Him better for all of it.

I need to say something to you, in case no one ever has. If you’ve said goodbye to a beloved foster child, I want to affirm what you already know and live: Your loss is real and your pain is deep and your grief is true.

But know this: You’re no more or less for what you do or don’t do for God. If you are His child, you are as beloved as the super hero foster parent, riding 10 kids deep. If you are His follower, then follow Him in the way He has called you. If you are His, that is the most important thing about you.

This life of mine, it’s out of control. My control. But it is perfectly under the control of the One who’s always, only been in control, all along.

Our kids need us to help them when they’re weak and carry them when they’re struggling.

They need us to be the other person in their “we.”

I believe that God’s Word speaks encouragement & clarity & hope to this journey of foster parenting, and I love getting to share with you the truths from Scripture that carry me. I also love to meet you & hear your stories & hug your necks.

So, adoptive parents, love your children like there’s no difference. But also, remember that there is.

Friends, this is it!! The title & cover & preorder deets of my (actual real life, dream come true) upcoming book, Foster the Family!! 😭

While you’re waiting to open your home or welcome a child into your home, I encourage you to use this time. Use it actively & intentionally, as a time to build your heart & your knowledge & your tool box. Use it to prepare yourself for the kids you’re about to welcome and the families you’re about to serve.

There's this thing that many non-foster parents say to foster parents, and it goes like this: "Oh, I could never do that. I would get too attached. I would fall in love and not be able to give them back." We've all heard it countless times, amiright?

Trauma parenting isn’t as simple as following methods and getting results. It’s a long term process of partnering with our kids in their healing.

I’ve gotten pretty good at the roller coaster of foster care. The strategy: you just choose to get off the roller coaster. You forget about the ups and downs, and you remain with feet planted squarely on the ground. Some would call it denial. But it’s much deeper than that for me. I don’t ignore what’s happening. I remember that God is the One in and above what’s happening. That I have grace to sustain me today, and when tomorrow becomes today, I’ll have grace waiting for me there, too. That truly trusting Him can keep me from the stomach flips of every drop & curve.