Foster Care is for the Whole Family

I came into foster care sure of my place: You lost your kid, so that makes me—automatically & obviously—better than. Yeah, I’ll take care of your child, but I have no space for you—you abuser, neglecter, addict, criminal, fill-in-the-blank.

Until I was rescued out of my arrogance & ignorance. I came to understand that I can’t be for vulnerable children, while turning my back on their vulnerable parents. That I can’t celebrate the gift of my family, and hope that another’s be torn apart. That I can’t claim to love a child yet hold onto hate for their parents. That I can’t be vaguely pro-reunification but personally anti-parent. That I can’t forget that “but for the grace of God...”

I was selling my kids & their families & myself short, buying into a cheap version of foster parenting that vilifies & demonizes, that chooses judgement over love. Until i learned that foster care can be so much more than that. That foster care in its best, fullest, most beautiful form, is for the whole family.