The Once-Fears-and-Now-Realities

Some of the realities of my days, now, were the fears of my heart, 8 years ago. I had a long mental list of all the scary parts of foster care and adoption, reasons why anyone would be crazy to do this thing.

As we face the once-fears-and-now-realities, I see how much my former worries were limiting God.

My fears are creative and consuming and well thought out, but there’s one thing they always lack: the grace guaranteed to join me if I ever face them. I don’t have grace for my imagination. I don’t experience the merciful, sustaining hand of God within my worst case scenarios. I can’t know the power that will surely be mine through Jesus, as I anticipate the frightening.

We jumped and God caught us and He’s carried us since. And those things that would’ve gripped my heart with fear, now just push me towards my Savior.

The trying has become the teaching. Worry makes way for worship. And I know and love Him better for all of it.