Yes, I Get Too Attached

There's this thing that many non-foster parents say to foster parents, and it goes like this: "Oh, I could never do that. I would get too attached. I would fall in love and not be able to give them back." We've all heard it countless times, amiright?

Non-foster parents: Listen, you gotta stop saying this. You may not have ever thought of it this way, but when you say this, you're suggesting that foster parents don't get too attached, don't fall in love, and are just fine handing kids back. You're insinuating that while your big heart couldn't handle the heartbreak, foster parents must not really care all that much and handle it all just fine. I've never met a foster parent who likes hearing this comment.

Foster parents: Listen, you gotta stop being offended when people say this to you. Most people are unfamiliar with foster care. Most people can't imagine choosing heartbreak. When someone pulls the "I could never do that" card, don’t correct them or shut them down. Use the opportunity to talk about how they could and why they should! Don't give a lecture about what's politically correct to say to a foster parent, talk about the joy of caring for the children, the happiness each life brings to your heart, the privilege of playing a part in a family being healed.

Talk about how you do get too attached, and how—hard as it is—it's worth it.