My Advice for Soon-To-Be, Maybe-One-Day, or Brand-New-and-Waiting Foster Parents

My advice for soon-to-be, maybe-one-day, or brand-new-and-waiting foster parents:

- Prioritize your relationship with God. Dig down deep your trust in His goodness & sovereignty. Build your faith by planting His promises deep in your heart.

- Build patterns of intentional self care. Practice rhythms that promote physical & mental & spiritual health. Understand the why & the how behind taking care of yourself & start practicing it now. Rest.

- Gather your support system. Envision your people for what you’re doing & why, then encourage them to join you in it. Flat out ask people to be your go-to, your babysitter, your shoulder to cry on, your prayer partner.

- Build your heart for biological family. Get to know & learn about those who struggle with mental illness, addiction, poverty. Learn about generational trauma. Build compassion for those who haven’t experienced the same privileges you have. Listen to adoptees & former foster youth. Study God’s heart for the family & let it inform your own heart for family preservation & reunification.

- Become trauma informed. Learn about how abuse, neglect, & in utero trauma shape the brains & bodies & beliefs of the kids you’ll be caring for. Learn strategies for empowering & connecting with & helping your future kids. Learn about attachment & consider your own attachment style.

- Pray. Pray for the kids you’ll say yes to & the kids you’ll say no to. Pray for the kids who will stay & the kids who will leave. Pray for the parents & families of the kids you’ll love. Pray for your family, your marriage, your kids. Pray for yourself.

While you’re waiting to open your home or welcome a child into your home, I encourage you to use this time. Use it actively & intentionally, as a time to build your heart & your knowledge & your tool box. Use it to prepare yourself for the kids you’re about to welcome and the families you’re about to serve.

This journey of foster parenting is beautiful & sweet & heartbreaking & hard. Welcome. 🤍