We love our children hard, and we are doing our very best. If you have questions, ask. If you’re confused, spend some time & learn. If you’re concerned, pray & love & be there for us. Our children need you, we need you.

When we relinquish control, it’s not to a broken system, not to a flawed decision maker. We relinquish control to God.

If something is worth it—if the people involved are worth it, the God we serve is worth it—then we face it straight on and speak in faith and surrender.

Foster care is about family. It’s about welcoming a child into your family. It’s about—in one way or another—welcoming another family into your family.

Not everyone is called to be a foster parent. Not everyone’s supposed to adopt. But there may be some who—if they spent more time leaning into the small and quiet “calls”—would realize there’s a calling.

When did we start believing that being for one means being against the other? I reject the either and the or. I choose both.

I believe that part of this job is fostering the whole family, and I’m committed to doing it, even when it’s hard.

Sometimes I can’t handle the hour long meltdowns or the what’s-even-going-on-here trauma behaviors. So I hold it together and say the right things and make everyone alright. And then I hit my breaking point.

It has to be the reasoning I hear most often from would-be foster parents: “I could never do that. I would get too attached.” Well, that makes two of us. Attachment is the whole point of this, after all.

One of the most helpful tools I’ve found to build a relationship with my foster children’s biological parents is a back and forth journal. It’s a pretty simple idea, but many people feel intimidated by the idea of communicating with biological parents and are searching for direction.

As time has gone on, I’ve gotten more acquainted with--if still not totally comfortable with--saying no. I’ve learned that knowing when to say yes and when to say no is one of the most important parts of doing this thing well.

The whys of a family’s decision to place a child in respite care is endless, beyond a simple explanation, and no one else’s business.

If you are a foster parent, you will learn patience. You can learn it by kicking and screaming and complaining and worrying. But you will learn it just the same.

I’ve compiled a list of my very favorite foster care + adoption related books for all the people on your list (and, you know, yourself). There’s one for everyone…

Maybe we shared things that you’ve thought before, said things you’ve been too afraid to say. If you’ve struggled as we’ve struggled, here’s what I want you to know…

Maybe my "this sucks" mantra sounds un-Christian. When I say, "This sucks," and I say it to Him, it's said like a prayer. A faith-filled acknowledgement that though this isn't how it should be, He is in it all.

Foster care is, at its core, a bridge. Back to first family or on to forever family. Foster parents must never--not ever--be shamed or condemned or criticized when they do not adopt their foster children. Adoption is not in our job description.