If I Perish, I Perish

If I Perish, I Perish

Jamie C.

Yesterday a friend asked how I’m feeling about my girl heading home. I gave my normal speech about the privilege of being involved in restoration, about family brought back together and a mother and daughter living together in love. (I know all the things to say, and I actually, truly believe them.) But then I finished my spiel the way I always, always answer this question: “I mean, I’m going to die, of course...” The pain and anxiety feel like a death. The only way to explain such loss, such intense emotions: death.

And then this morning I opened God’s Word to one of my favorite tales of God’s glorious plans, His unending faithfulness towards His beloved, and the power of one woman standing in faith and bravery and self-sacrificial love for others: Esther. 

Esther’s cousin inspires her to stand up for justice with these words: “And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS?” Esther’s response—as she stares the risk of death in the face—“IF I PERISH, I PERISH.” Tears filled my eyes.

If something is worth it—if the people involved are worth it, the God we serve is worth it—then we face it straight on and speak in faith and surrender: “I was brought to this place for such a time as this by the One who ordains my days and carries my soul. And if I perish, then I perish. I will die to self. I will lay down my life in love. My life is Yours, use it as You wish.”

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