Dear friends & family

Dear friends & family

Jamie C.

Friends & family of foster & adoptive parents, this one’s for you.

We need you to hear this: Parenting kids from trauma is hard. It’s messy. It’s confusing. It’s not about getting results, and it’s never a quick fix. Because trauma parenting isn’t (just) about changing behavior. It’s about healing.

Our kids come to us with bodies & brains & hearts that have been touched and changed by the things they’ve been through. Our job as their parents isn’t to follow some magic method that guarantees results. It’s to partner with them in their healing, to provide structure & support & nurturing, to meet them where they are and hopefully lead them to a better place.

Our kids’ behavior may confuse you. You should know, it confuses us, too. It might look like they’re angry or bratty or out of control. Most of the time, they’re just scared or struggling. Most of the time, what’s behind the behavior would fill you with compassion, would completely break your heart. It might look like we’re enabling, like we’re letting things go. It might look like we’re inconsistent or random. But it’s usually intentional and thought out. And it’s always hard—for them, for us.

We love our children hard, and we are doing our very best. If you have questions, ask. If you’re confused, spend some time & learn. If you’re concerned, pray & love & be there for us. Our children need you, we need you.

A word to the mamas making their way to church with screaming babies and squirming toddlers and trauma-ing kids and eye-rolling teenagers: What you’re fighting for is worth it. You may barely sing a song, hardly hear a word, not even be able to
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Closure

Closure
Give up Control

Give up Control
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