He Loves You More

Oh darling, each day I hold in tension the most tender reality of foster care: I am falling in love with you as my son, completely and fully. AND I remember and honor that you are not—as feeling and function would suggest—my son.

Born to another mother, kept by a system that decides for you and for us—I love you as mine, but that doesn't make you mine.

It's an impossible tension on its own, until I remember whose you truly are. I can both love you as "mine" and release you as "not mine,” because you are His, and I surrender you to Him.

I love you, son. He loves you more.