Does Foster Care Affect My Forever Children?

Does foster care affect my forever children? Sure it does—in many ways that are immediately, obviously good, and in some that are seemingly not so good at first glance but eventually, just as good.

Foster care has taught my kids that the world doesn’t revolve around them—that life is bigger than their happiness. It’s taught them about the struggles that so many others face and broadens their perspective beyond their own privilege. It’s created opportunities for them to grow in compassion and empathy and love for people they wouldn’t rub up against in any other context. These are the kinds of lessons I want for my children that I’m not sure I could contrive outside of foster care. These are the parts that are immediately, obviously good.

But what about the loss, the trauma brought inside our walls, the chronic stress & constant chaos, the systemic injustices and invasions that have touched their little lives? It’s harder to call these good—that is, without an overall & overwhelming view of the good God gives in all things.

There are many good gifts God grows in us not only in spite of hard things but through hard things. We all pray away suffering, but it is suffering that produces the very endurance and character and hope we’re praying for (Romans 5:3-5). We all avoid trials, but it’s trials that bring about the joy of personal and maturity (James 1:2-4).

My kids have received many good things because of foster care and they’ve endured many hard things because of foster care. But with a good God ordaining their days, I trust that He’s using it all to make them who He has them to be.