Foster Care is a Bridge

I’ll never forget the wide eyes staring back at me. I told a worker friend of mine the (I thought, very exciting) news that my foster son was going to be adopted by my dear friend.

The look was that just-so combination of horror, disgust, & “oh-how-nice.” I wanted to clap back: “You. were. the. one. who drilled it into my head that foster care is temporary.”

Instead, I kept my lips locked and took to the internet. I shared my story in an effort to normalize the discussion of foster parents being “just” foster parents. I wanted to shut down the assumption that foster parents must adopt the children who are placed in their homes.

Want to know what the internet thought?

…I find her story to show a certain level of selfishness and not so much love for the child but for her perfect life she has created.

…I’m sorry but she’s a sociopath. It’s her calling, but it’s his LIFE.

…She sucks.

…This choice was less about love and more about convenience. I respect the choice, but let us not pretend that the choice makes you a hero.

…This woman clearly fosters for $$$...the kids livelihood is an afterthought to her.

…GET THE HELL OUT YOU STILL NEED THE BED BUT I WANT IT AVAILABLE FOR ANOTHER CHILD THAT I WILL PUSH OUT THE DOOR FOR THE SAME REASON. Stop shoving them out the door.

…From what I read she is a babysitter you the kids, they aren’t yours, and go cash your check.

…I don’t know but this story pisses me off big time!

…Seriously r u kidding me? There no way in hell I would be able to give him up after I had him.

…That’s just wrong, you can’t love that child that much and then let him go.

…I guess she just didn’t love him enough. So sad. Awful piece.

…Bottom line is she didn’t love him ENOUGH TO KEEP HIM.

…I would’ve adopted him.

…That poor child. She should be ashamed of herself.

…Stop thinking of yourself. He needs you.

…Pathetic.

Now don’t you worry about me. This post isn’t about me. It’s about changing the conversation around foster care & adoption. It’s about understanding that foster parenting & adoptive parenting are very different things.