Our Kids, Their Parents, & Their Stories

There is a way to talk to our kids about their parents and their stories that is both honest and covered in compassion. We interpret their parents’ struggles through a lens of trauma and share it with our kids with the belief that their parents are doing their best. For example:

Drugs: "Sometimes people have had such a hard life and are so sad that they're looking for anything to make them feel better. And drugs make people feel better for a little while but then they make so many other things so many worse. Once you start using them, it’s really, really hard to stop—even if you’re trying hard, even if you really want to be with your kids again—because your body comes to need them to feel ok. They must have had some really hard things happen to them to be using drugs, don't you think?"

Mental health: "Lots of people have different sicknesses in their bodies. Some people have heart disease or kidney disease and some people have sickness in their brain—it can make them feel really sad or scared or even see things that aren't really there. Medicine can help and doctors can help, but even getting help can feel scary to people. If people aren’t mentally healthy, they might not know how to keep themselves or others safe. Isn't that so sad for them?"

Poverty: "Not everyone has all that we have here. But you can still love your kids and be a great mom, even if you don't have a lot. Mom needs some help getting a job and a safe place to live, so she can have a safe home again. She’s working hard, but it can be hard to do if you don’t have a car or phone or education. But not having money doesn't have anything to do with being a good mommy, right?!"

And along with all of these explanations is the reminder that their parents are deeply loved by God, that He is intimately involved in their stories, that He is able to intervene, transform, forgive, and heal. So let’s share honestly, encourage compassion, and join our kids in love and prayer.