I Pray for Eyes to See My Whole Child

Sometimes what I am most easily, obviously aware of are the behaviors.
The way trauma rears its ugly head.
The way the remnants of past pain create present pain.
The way yesterday’s abuse & neglect touch today.

I sat with my kiddo’s therapist and heard new confessions of old hurts. She showed me pictures that were drawn and shared tales that were told. And tears ran down my face.

“I just dropped a lot on you. How are you processing this?”

“I know I’m crying,” I responded, “but what I’m feeling most of all is gratitude.

It’s an important reminder for me to meet this kiddo with compassion and understanding. They’ve been through so much, it’s no surprise it plays out in such hard behaviors still. Next time I’m frustrated by their choices, next time I’m impatient with their big feelings, I want to remember the empathy I’m feeling right now.

But most of all, I’m just in awe of this kid. They have been through so much, it’s surprising they are as tender and generous and loving as they are. It’s a miracle. I want to live in awe of that miracle, and I want to believe in the possibility of more miracles.”

The behaviors loom large—large enough to fill my entire gaze…if I let them. So I pray for eyes to see my whole child.

Their past—through a lens of compassion.
Their present—through a lens of gratitude.
Their future—through a lens of faith.