The System is Broken

The baby’s lawyer called me today. He introduced himself because, yes, he speaks on behalf of our boy in court but has A) never met him and B) never talked to me or anyone who’s ever cared for him

He was slow and somber. “So I’m not sure if you’ve heard, there’s been a significant shift in the law in New Jersey,” he started and then proceeded to let me know that I should prepare myself for our boy to be moved. My hands started to shake and tears filled my eyes. NO NO NO NO. I love reunification, but there’s no one to be reunified with. I am pro-family, but there’s no family to be “pro” for. What? How? What is happening?

I checked out of my panic and back into our conversation as I heard “there’s a sister in Texas...” and realized that this man, this important person in our child’s case, the voice that is supposed to speak for this boy, the only one whose job it is to consider only what’s best for him is NINE MONTHS LATE in his information.

I dryly reminded him about DNA tests & unknown residences & deaths & rule out letters & all the ways he was so wrong in his information (“oh, now that you say that, it rings a bell...”) and hung up as quickly as possible.

Sometimes foster parents say the system is broken when they actually mean their hearts are broken. They say things didn’t go in the child’s best interest because they think they’re the “better” interest. Personally, I think we need to be careful not to label something as broken when it’s actually operating the way it should.

But sometimes, sometimes workers don’t do what they’re supposed to & resources don’t service our kids the way they should & judges don’t make the right decision & attorneys don’t. even. know. what’s. going. on.

Sometimes the best interest of the child is ignored. And sometimes our hearts are broken only over the brokenness of it all.

Because, yes, it is so true. This system, it is broken.