Learning How To Grieve Together

I tucked one child into bed and found them silently & sadly flipping through photos of their former sister.

I tried to explain to one child (again) that yes, of course, I would be happy to see our girl that yes, of course, I’ve asked, but it’s just not up to me.

I held one child sobbing in my arms as they told me about the dream they’d just woken from where she was with us again.

Me? I wish we could all just get over this. I wish my kids would stop talking about her, stop re-breaking my heart with their tears and their questions. I wish that we could snap some button that would make us forget her forever. Naturally, selfishly, at my core, this is what I wish.

It’s really hard helping my kids handle something that I don’t know how to handle myself. I have no recipe for my own grief right now beyond trying to let myself feel sad and remembering & trusting God.

But with my kids, I’m working to listen & hold & hug & ask & encourage & do all I can to create space for them to grieve better than their mom ever has. I allow every emotion, even the ones that threaten to break me. I listen to every memory, even when I think I can’t. And I’m wondering if maybe this is exactly what I need myself. That maybe they’ll pull me along with them through their grief & we’ll learn how to do this together.