The Attachment Cycle

Baby has a need.
Baby cries.
Parent meets the need.

Baby learns:
My needs will be met.
People are trustworthy.
The world makes sense.
I am precious.

This is the attachment cycle.
This is family, as it’s meant to be.

A million times, a million ways, a year long cycle of “yeses” to needs felt-and-met.

With each cuddle and whisper, clean diaper and full belly, a parent speaks to the body and brain and soul of a child: you are safe, you can trust, you are precious.

These need-fulfilled babies grow into children and adults who can give and receive care, who feel safe in relationship, who are securely attached.

And when they come to us need-unfulfilled, need-left-unmet, we have the (difficult) task and the (sweet) privilege of fighting to give what they never received. The predictable care, structure & nurture, connection & intention we offer our kids does more than meet needs. It re-writes over neural pathways, nervous systems, and beliefs.

It speaks to that baby-grown-into-a-child’s heart: you are safe, you can trust, you are precious.