She Has a Family

Kid 1: “Is the baby coming or not?! I really, really hope so!”

Me: “I want her to come to us if she needs us. But if she doesn’t come to us, it’s because they figured out a way for her to be with her mom or one of her family members - so even though we might be disappointed, it would be a really happy thing for her.”

Kid 1: “But I want her to come to us!”

(Adopted) Kid 2: “She. Has. A. Family. What do you not understand?!”…said with her signature sass, because a) she’s super sassy and b) she really does understand, more than we (the not-adopted-members-of-her-family) could ever understand.

The first placement call we said yes to—nine years ago—ended up “falling through” and going to a family member. I cried and cried all night. I was so eager to jump into this “mission,” that I was so distraught it wasn’t happening.

Now I understand the mission differently. Now I would cry those same tears as fiercely over a child needing me in the first place. The loss of a mother, a father, a family is the heartbreak that placement represents. I grieve the need for my role at all.

So when I got the call today that grandmom got custody of baby girl, keeping her from coming to my home—keeping her out of the system—I felt a personal pang, for sure, and then I thanked God.

You know why? Because I understand: She has a family.