Broken & Beautiful Tension

Our baby boy’s parents surrendered their parental rights. The reality of this has me oscillating between “this is happy & wonderful” to “this is devastating & heartbreaking.”

And, well, it’s both of these things. It’s neither of these things. It’s all of it.

It’s absolutely devastating that this precious boy, officially, became an orphan. And...

Well, he’s, functionally, always been an orphan. And...

Also he’s never, functionally, been an orphan, because he’s always had us. And...

He didn’t feel or experience any great loss here. And...

He lost something, a loss so immense he’ll carry it forever, that he doesn’t even understand yet. And...

It’s something that, actually, he lost long before. And...

He gained something, the promise of permanence & forever with the only family he’s known. And...

Around and around it goes.

It’s all of these and no one of these things alone. We grieve what he lost. We celebrate what he—and what we—have gained. And we hold the nuance. For our kids, for their families, for our own hearts, we hold—in broken & beautiful tension—all of it at once.

We keep space for the sorrow. We hold onto the joy. And we cling, with our whole hearts, to the love.