"I would get too attached," "Do you get to keep this one?" and "Are they all yours?": 40 Answers to the Invasive (But Typically-Well-Meaning) Questions Every Foster Parent Hears

"I would get too attached," "Do you get to keep this one?" and "Are they all yours?": 40 Answers to the Invasive (But Typically-Well-Meaning) Questions Every Foster Parent Hears

Foster parents get lots of questions: inquisitive, curious, intrusive, and inappropriate....but all typically well-meaning. It's hard for people to understand this journey we're on. It's hard for them to understand why our families look so different. And so they ask. And for all the times you don't know how to answer, the readers of Foster the Family compiled their favorite answers to their most frequently received questions. From funny to irreverent to informative to heart-warming. You'll never have to search for an answer again.


How do you do that? I would get too attached!

I do get too attached! If you don't get too attached, you're not doing it right! -Me!

Life is so much better for having her, no matter how short or long the time. -Kim

It’s not about me, it’s about them! -Kristina

Yes, I do get attached! That’s precisely what they need. -Claire

 

Do you get to keep this one?

She’ll be with us for as long as she needs us. -Jamie

That's not for me to decide, but I'm happy to offer him our home for whatever length of time he needs to be here. -Claire

 

Are you their real mom?

Yes, yes I am. - Cassiopiea

Yep, I’m real. And yep, I’m their mom. -Jennifer

I’m not their biological mom, but I’m their real mom. -Jennifer

 

You sure have your hands full!

Yes, I do! Fully of blessings! - Marie

Good thing I left the other six home! -Lindsey

 

Are they twins?

No, they’re four months apart! (and watch them try to figure it out) -Randi

Yes, they are my twins at heart, but they are two months apart with different birth mothers. -Kate

No, they’re triplets. We left the other one at home! -Julie

No, they’re four months apart...she has a magic uterus. -Julie’s husband

No, triplets. We leave the ugly one at home. -Beth

 

But they don’t look like you…

God loves variety! -Meredith

But they look awfully like the mailman! -Sara’s husband

 

Who’s this?

This is my buddy who is living with me for a while. -Aly

Do you have any children of your own?

Yes, she’s mine until God sees fit to move her. - Sara

 

How many kids do you have?

Depends on the day. -Julie

 

Are you going to adopt them? (soon after they enter your home)

You pretty much keep an open mind with foster care... this stuff always takes a while to sort out. -Erika

I hope they can return home when the time is right. -Kathy

Adoption isn't EasyMac, it's a fine wine -Mijana’s wife

We are at square one and not sure what is going on. We live day by day! -Traci

 

What happened to their parents? OR Was it drugs? OR What’s their story?

You know, as a foster kid, they already lose a lot of their privacy. We try to do what we can to protect that for them. It's hard feeling like everyone knows their business. -Erika

They need a safe place to stay, for now. -Kathy

 

What made you want to be a foster parent?

I love God and I love kids. I want to make a difference. -Kathy

 

Are you a babysitter? OR Are you running a preschool? OR Is this a daycare?

NO. -All of us

 

You’re so strong. I don’t know how you do it!

I honestly don't know either. When we said goodbye to our first, I didn't know how I would make it through, but I did. I still can't believe I did, but I did...and he is better for. Hearts heal, but he can bond [again] and that's what matters. -Brittney

 

Your children are beautiful!

I wish I could take credit for those genetics! -Phyllis

 

At the doctor: How was his birth? Did he get stuck in the birth canal? Were forceps used?

Hmm, I don’t know. -Jenny

 

They all look so different!

They all have different fathers! -Kimberly

 

The proactive answer for all of your friends questions...

When you see me with kids from now on, you won't have to wonder where they came from. And when you don't see them with us anymore, you won't have to wonder where they went. We had them for the time that we were supposed to love them. If it ever gets to a point where we get to adopt and keep them forever, we will shout that to you from the rooftops. Until then this is just the way it is that we are OK with it. We're not super heroes, we’re just a family that wants kids to love. -Kristen

 

Are they all yours?

At least for now! (with a smile) - Michelle

Today they are! - Ashley

Can’t you see the resemblance? - Mijana

Aren’t I lucky? - Paige

That’s what she tells me! -Lindsey’s husband

Nope, I just collect random kids, because everyone loves shopping with a bunch of random stranger’s kids! -Krystal

Yep, and they all have the same father, too! -Uvonda

I claim them all. -LeAnna

I like my husband a lot! -Becky



(The girls pictured are my very best friends, and we always ask each other intrusive questions...because that's what best friends are supposed to do.)


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